How to Deal with Repetitive Questions
By Ewa Frydel, Owner
Even if your senior loved one does not have Alzheimer’s or any other form of dementia, cognitive decline is possible as we age.
This can cause memory loss and have your senior asking repetitive questions.
Many people find it frustrating to repeat themselves or to have to ask someone else to repeat what they’re saying.
Most of us have two ears and one mouth, making listening more of a priority than speaking. When repetitive questions come around, this makes listening and speaking very complicated.
Messages don’t get relayed well and information gets lost with translation. We also don’t want to come off rude when repeating ourselves, especially to our senior loved ones.
We know you are aware that repetitive questions come with aging, but are you aware of how to handle this?
How to Deal With Repetitive Questions
Have patience and understanding. You know this already, but it helps to be reminded. Your senior may have simply forgotten something or really wants to understand what you’re saying, but they just can’t catch a word. It’s very frustrating for them, let alone you!
They may not have patience when they’re confused, but you can control your own emotions. Use patience. Even if you’re asked a question over and over, pretend it’s like the first time you were asked.
Understand that for many seniors, asking you a question ten times may feel like it’s their first time asking it, too. Be mindful and ignore the past times you’ve been asked.
Validate your senior. Validation is a relieving feeling. If your senior asks the same question often, answer to validate them.
With Alzheimer’s, even if you state the truth, there is a chance they may forget, but at that moment the truth could hurt them. It could bring on sadness.
If your senior asks if their deceased partner is out for a walk, and they don’t remember they are deceased, say, “yes”. Let them feel validated that their partner is out for a walk.
When they ask again, use your own discretion, but try to consider your aging parent’s emotions at that moment. If you decide to be truthful, try to do it with compassion and be ready to provide comfort care.
Reassurance. If your senior mom or dad seems to be confused or upset that they keep forgetting something, let them know it’s normal to forget things.
Tell them times when you have forgotten things, too. Make them feel at ease because showing your concern may heighten their anxiety at that moment. Focus on making them feel good every time they ask you a question.
Start a new subject. When you’re frequently asked the same question, redirect the conversation. Ask them a question about a memory they still have. Find a way to get them to think of other things besides whatever it may be that is confusing them.
Helping them think of something they do know can greatly relieve any anxiety. Try not to jump around too many subjects. Stick to ones they know well.
Record keep. After your visit with your aging mom or dad, be sure to write down any changes in your dialogue with them. You can bring this information to their doctor at the next visit. You will also be able to note any frequency in memory loss or which questions they specifically ask often.
Information like this can be helpful as your parent ages and determines what type of care will be needed in the future.
Keep their mind sharp. When repetitive questions start coming around, engage your senior loved one in brain exercises. Even physical activity is helpful.
As you begin to notice the cognitive decline, even before you notice, start the brain games. Have your elderly parent put together puzzles. Find classes they may enjoy, like learning technology. Play memory games. Look at photo albums and have them share stories. Feed them good nutrition and go for a walk.
The last tip is to contact healthcare professionals. A doctor can check on your senior and determine if there is more of an underlining issue.
See if there are supportive programs in your community, too. You can look for support groups for caregivers like you. Many members of these groups are experienced in dealing with repetitive questions and may have fruitful tips for you to cope.
For more information on dealing with repetitive questions with your senior loved one, contact us.
We’re here to help!
Legal Disclaimer
This blog provides general information and discussions about dealing with repetitive questions in dementia patients and should not be construed as medical advice.
